Joe the Boss

Happiness is a ?now you feel it, now you don?t? emotion. I know this from personal experience and from hearing of the experiences of others. Sometimes I?m very happy, other times, sad, joyful, contented, frustrated, and sometimes very neutral.

Several years ago I had no reference point for the word happy. I knew technically the meaning of the word, however the experience eluded me. Joy I could do, happy for some reason, no.

One day during a workshop the word happy was demonstrated to me with much laughter from the audience. Now I not only get ?happy? but remember it also as a fun experience.

There are many small things that can make me happy as well as give me endless joy. I?ve listed seven simple ways toward experiencing a happy moment, but first check you have a reference point to the word happy. Find out what happy really means to you?

1. Remember or create a ?happy? moment. When you live the experience of ?happy? your mind and body will remember. Feel the happiness in all parts of you, expand this feeling if need be. Practise this daily.

2. Access the Present moment. Notice what happens to you when you?re totally focussed on a comedy show on television, when you listen to light hearted music or when you dance - even if it?s on your own. I sometimes groove to a tune in my office when no-one?s looking ? it makes me feel good, cool, gives me a break from what I?m doing and I laugh at myself!

3. Invite friends over for some play time. Organise paper, crayons, paint, and coloured pencils, whatever you can think of and do some drawings or paintings. You could also ask each person to bring along a plate of food.

4. Spend time with nature, go for a walk down the beach or park; observe wildlife in your area or visit a plant nursery. Notice your mood when amongst the spirit of nature.

5. Take something with you that gives you great pleasure such as a book, journal for writing or your MP3 player and sit and ?Be? under the canopies of trees for a few hours.

6. Learn something totally new such as another language; pottery or painting or start your meditation, personal or spiritual development program. You?re only ever limited by your own imagination.

7. Join a club or group that you have an interest in. You can then expand your friendship base with other like-minded souls.

With any of the above activities assess what and how you?re feeling as well as where you feel the emotion and how much are you laughing, grinning, or smiling? Remember them totally by living the experience and you will then be able to recall this memory when you want to.

Include to memory your experience colours, smells, sounds and tastes ? all the better for remembering your happy time with.

Quiet time spent alone can open the door to the possibility of connection to that most amazing and magical part of you that is your true self, the spirit within.

From my experience the key to a happy life begins with remembering who you are, know what gives you enjoyment, be present, and know that regardless of your circumstances no?one can take away your thoughts or dreams, they are yours to keep for as long as you wish.

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Copyright requirements are that it remains with Michaela Scherr and for the link to be “click able” or “live” at www.michaelascherr.com
Michaela is a Transformational Coach, certified practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), writer, and Metaphysician who is totally committed to helping others create positive and action oriented changes to their lives.
Michaela is the author of several e-books including a monthly newsletter called From My Desk.

Believe it or not, some of the most successful people you see in the media today used to have a low self esteem. How did they overcome this and become the successful people that they are today?

You can win the battle over low self esteem with these 4 simple steps?

1.

Affirmations.
Affirmations are simply positive things that you say out loud to yourself every day. This can be very difficult at times because you may not actually believe what you are saying. SO why would you say something to yourself that you don?t believe?

Increased self esteem has to start with you. So, if you are shy and intimidated by people, start to say something like the following: I am NOT shy and I am NOT intimidated by people. I am VERY confident when I get around people.

Repeat this to yourself out loud at least 10 times before you leave your room. When you say this, don?t just mumble it either, say it as many times as necessary until you say it with passion and conviction.

2. Read to grow.
Again, increased self esteem starts with you. Read something everyday for at least 30 minutes that will help you increase your self esteem. This can be an article, a book, or even an audio series. The more you learn the more you will grow. The more you grow, the more your self esteem will improve.

3. Take action everyday.
Do something every day, starting with something small, that directly deals with your low self esteem. For instance, if you can?t talk with people because you feel insecure and inferior, just start off by saying ?Hi?. As you get more comfortable with this, then start to make small talk. You will begin to feel more confident and more confident until one day, you will find that you have overcome low self-esteem in that area.

4. Stop the negative thoughts.
Negative thoughts are like land mines. As soon as you step out to face your fear, a negative thought comes and tells you that you can?t do it and BOOM; you believe it and lose that round. Instead, diffuse negative thoughts before they have a chance to do damage.

A great way to do this is with a rubber band! Put a rubber band around your wrist. Every time a thought comes into your head that tells you that you can?t, you will never succeed, you are a looser, or anything negative, SNAP the rubber band on your wrist.

You may be snapping that band until your wrist is red and sore. Before long though, you will stop the negative thoughts because you don?t want to hurt your wrist anymore.

These four steps will help you increase your self esteem and become the person you really want to be. Just remember this: you are not going to change over night. It will take time but as long as you are progressing, you are winning the war.

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To get your free 7 part e-course, subscribe at www.findyourgreatness.com.
Jason and Rebecca Osborn have dedicated themselves to changing thousands of lives by helping people find their greatness and true potential through their Find Your Greatness Newsletter.

Getting through the holidays with your sanity intact doesn?t have to be Mission Impossible. But it will take you being willing to do things a little differently than last year.

Isn?t that the old joke about the definition of insanity — to keep doing the same old thing the same old way yet expect a different result?

So if you?d like a different result this year –being calm, cool, and collected on Dec. 25 — here?s some tips and ideas to help you.

1. Let It Ride

Didn?t you ever truly wish that a person would give you exactly the same thing that they gave you the year before? I have. I?m not suggesting the boring Dad-tie routine; but it follows that other people who gush about a gift you?ve given might like a repeat. Don?t think you have to be totally new and creative each year. If you?ve hit on something great, let it ride.

2. Double Up

There are likely people on your list that don?t know each other and that you don?t know that well. Pick one thing that will cover a group of people –service people, hostess gifts, neighbors, teachers, etc. — and purchase several of them. Fancy cooking oils, candles, books, stationary, picture frames, etc. can all be used in a variety of gift giving. You?ll have confidence knowing that you have a gift that works without having to spend hours looking.

3. Pajama Shop

Instead of fighting the crowds and parking hassles, order gifts from catalogs or online and have them sent directly to your recipient. Many online companies will now delay shipping so you can shop early but not have to worry about it arriving too soon. Most companies also offer gift wrapping if you choose it, and a generous return policy. Shop when it?s completely convenient to you — over your morning coffee, in the bubble-bath, or sitting up at midnight in your PJs. Now that would make anybody a happier, calmer, saner Santa.

4. Keep It Earth Friendly

Don?t we all have enough stuff? Think ?consumable? this year, things that will be used up instead of stashed in a closet or end up in the Spring garage sale. Teenagers love event or movie tickets and seniors on a fixed income enjoy the chance to splurge on a massage or a new restaurant. Ask any single working mom if she?d rather have a new sweater or a housecleaning service. I admit, it can be a little boring on the giving end of it, so personalize the gift card and up your own holiday fun by looking for a special holiday ornament or small token of chocolate or even a fancy bookmark to include with the card.

5. Ditch the big fat obnoxious stuff

With all those gifts coming and going, and as holiday trimmings invade your already crowded space, stress from overcrowding will set in. So before you bring in the tree or start shopping, make a clean sweep through at least the public parts of the house. It?s a good time to be ruthless –if you don?t love it or use it, store it. Don?t panic — you don?t have to give it all away. Just box up it up and shove it into the garage or under the bed. In Jan or Feb, go back through it and maybe you?ll decide to donate because you like the more uncluttered feel of your space.

The bottom line is that holiday stress is often caused by you being your own worst enemy. If you need help, delegate. If you?re a procrastinator, beat it by starting early. Make some room for the holidays in your space, in your schedule, in your heart.

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Kathy Gates is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach in Scottsdale Arizona who specializes in finding happiness in daily life. She will coach you via email or telephone, your choice. Start Creating Your Happier Life Today! by visiting REAL LIFE COACH.com

“We don?t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

?Ana?s Nin

Driving home from the pool after my morning swim, I happened to see a young woman walking toward the high school.

As the car passed by, we made fleeting but certain eye contact. I was smiling; she was not. In fact, she seemed to be deliberately frowning. “What have you got to be so happy about?” her eyes were asking. “Why are you so unhappy?” I wondered.

In that brief encounter I imagined two worlds colliding, or at least two worldviews. It occurred to me once again how — from moment to moment, through thought, word, and action — we invent the world we inhabit.

How we think determines how we make sense of what happens to us and informs the quality of our days. If we think life is a treasure it most certainly is and we find the bounty in life to support our belief. If we believe life a trial, we will see disappointment, pain, and punishment everywhere and perhaps participate in creating it.

When life throws challenges our way, it’s especially important to have a worldview that’s creative, positive and vision-driven. What we tell ourselves when faced with difficulty makes a difference. Daniel Goleman, author and educator on Emotional Intelligence, calls self-motivation a key skill of emotionally intelligent people. When you’re self-motivated, you see challenges in ways that help you learn from them and move forward in life.

My mother, Lorna, has a worldview that says we’re here to love and help each other and, in turn, we are loved and taken care of. She does and is.

My friend Suzanne believes that perseverance will allow you to move through the seemingly impossible challenges of life with grace and dignity. And she does.

My lovely Aunt Mimi, who lived in a wheelchair most of her 83 years, believed “life is what you make it,” and the way she lived her full and happy life taught those around her how to do the same.

Was my frowning school-bound friend unhappy? Did she really want to make my day miserable, too? Or was it just momentary indigestion. I’ll never know. I do know that her emotional state is not about me. We’d never met. I also know that regardless of the fact that we’d never met, depending on my own worldview, I could easily have generated an attitude war in that moment. But I decided not to and continued on with a very enjoyable morning.

I can’t think of a better way to begin each day than to remember the power of our innate creativity. Be mindful of what you hope for and what you worry about, what you believe and what you foster in the world. If life truly is what you make it, how are you creating your life today?

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Judy Ringer is the author of Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict (www.unlikelyteachersbook.com) and the award-winning e-zine, Ki Moments, containing stories and practices on turning life’s challenges into life teachers. Judy is a black belt in aikido and nationally known presenter, specializing in unique workshops on conflict, communication, and creating a positive work environment. She is the founder of Power & Presence Training and chief instructor of Portsmouth Aikido, Portsmouth, NH, USA. To sign up for more free tips and articles like these, visit www.JudyRinger.com

In 1981, Chris Gardner (played by Will Smith) was a broke, struggling salesman of un-needed overpriced medical bone density scanners, while his wife wallowed in misery over having to work double shift to support the family including a young son.

Chris, seeing that his medical sales career was not going anywhere asked two very pivotal question to a passerby in a Porsche, what do you do and how can he do it. These two questions changed his life and set in motion his pursuit of Happyness.

Desperate to gain financial happiness for his son and himself Chris takes a chance and applies for a stockbroker internship where one in twenty has a chance of a lucrative full time career. But this chance does come with a price. The opportunity does not come with a salary as he trains for the position. Chris is forced to get serious about his medical bone density business and make it work while he studies for his brokers exams. Because of his pursuit of this dream and the downfall of the medical sales business Chris?s wife leaves him and he eventually becomes homeless. But he never loses his dream. He fights every step of the way for the pursuit of Happyness.

I absolutely loved this movie. It teaches tenacity and determination in the face of adversity. I especially loved the line Chris states to his son ?Don?t ever let anyone say you can?t do something, their just trying to discourage you from something that they could not do?. What a statement, what a line. This movie is a tear jerker from beginning to end. It brings into focus would most of us fight for what we believe in after losing a wife, losing a car, losing a home and sleeping on the streets with their son or daughter. Or would we just fold away and settle for what life give us. If you have not seen this movie definitely rent this movie. Matter of fact ?BUY IT?, you will not be sorry.

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Many years ago, I used to work with a bunch of single guys. One, whom I’ll call Dave, was not very well liked by the other guys at work. This was due in part to the fact that he was a jerk.

Okay, there might have also been a bit of envy involved. You see, Dave seemed to easily get dates with many of the beautiful women in the area. This was a mystery to many of the guys at work, and even seemed unfair.

I would hear comments like, “That lucky (blank)! How does that jerk go out with all the beautiful women?” But the solution was clear to anyone who paid attention - he asked them out! Of course, he really was a jerk, so they usually said no. However, he just kept asking, until some of the woman said yes.

Now isn’t this so common? We wonder at the “luck” of others, when the key is that those lucky people are doing the simple things we are afraid to do.

Who is more likely to get a date? A man who asks out one woman or a man who asks out ten?

Who is more likely to get a raise at work, a woman who just quietly does a good job and hopes it’s noticed, or one that does a good job and asks for a raise?

You have to have the courage to do something if you want the results of that action. This is obvious stuff, right? Almost all such “lessons” are, but we need to be reminded. We also need to take action to put lessons into practice.

Feel The Fear And Do It Anyhow

I was recently at one of those free money-making seminars, and the speaker asked who wanted a hundred-dollar bill. A few hands went up. When he asked who would come up and get it, only a few people out of hundreds approached the stage. He handed the bill to the first one there, while the crowd sat watching, too afraid to embarrass themselves.

Exactly why did this one man get the hundred dollar bill? Simply because he walked up and took it, while the others were too afraid.

We can see that fear gets in the way of having “good luck.” What can we do then to have more courage? We can act in the face of fear. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” I would add to that you gain good luck.

Of course, there are some powerful techniques to make this process of developing courage easier, but that is a topic for another article.

Many years ago, I used to work with a bunch of single guys. One, whom I’ll call Dave, was not very well liked by the other guys at work. This was due in part to the fact that he was a jerk.

Okay, there might have also been a bit of envy involved. You see, Dave seemed to easily get dates with many of the beautiful women in the area. This was a mystery to many of the guys at work, and even seemed unfair.

I would hear comments like, “That lucky (blank)! How does that jerk go out with all the beautiful women?” But the solution was clear to anyone who paid attention - he asked them out! Of course, he really was a jerk, so they usually said no. However, he just kept asking, until some of the woman said yes.

Now isn’t this so common? We wonder at the “luck” of others, when the key is that those lucky people are doing the simple things we are afraid to do.

Who is more likely to get a date? A man who asks out one woman or a man who asks out ten?

Who is more likely to get a raise at work, a woman who just quietly does a good job and hopes it’s noticed, or one that does a good job and asks for a raise?

You have to have the courage to do something if you want the results of that action. This is obvious stuff, right? Almost all such “lessons” are, but we need to be reminded. We also need to take action to put lessons into practice.

Feel The Fear And Do It Anyhow

I was recently at one of those free money-making seminars, and the speaker asked who wanted a hundred-dollar bill. A few hands went up. When he asked who would come up and get it, only a few people out of hundreds approached the stage. He handed the bill to the first one there, while the crowd sat watching, too afraid to embarrass themselves.

Exactly why did this one man get the hundred dollar bill? Simply because he walked up and took it, while the others were too afraid.

We can see that fear gets in the way of having “good luck.” What can we do then to have more courage? We can act in the face of fear. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” I would add to that you gain good luck.

Of course, there are some powerful techniques to make this process of developing courage easier, but that is a topic for another article.

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Copyright Steve Gillman. Learn specific techniques to Generate Good Luck right now at: www.GoodLuckSecrets.com

?It?s better to be an unsatisfied human than to be a satisfied pig.? - John Stuart Mill, 19th Century philosopher

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When Mill made that observation, he was asserting that humans have a unique capacity to experience levels of happiness and pleasure that simply are not available to animals.

Along with that ability to marvel at sunsets, experience the joy of solving a mystery and be moved to tears by great music, we also have the capacity to be unhappy and to experience pain. That world of intellectual and emotional satisfaction is not available to pigs and other animals, and neither is the suffering. Animals don’t have the capacity to feel sorry for themselves. Mill suggests that none of us humans, if given the chance, would trade this ?marked preference for the superior faculty? with that of a pig, even though the lowly pig is forever immune to much of the pain and suffering of humans.

The ability to experience disappointment and fear, or to be sad and alone, is the price we pay for also having the ability to experience delight and love and beauty. And yet, how often do we long for the absence of that pain? How often do we fret and anguish over the bumps and pitfalls in the road of life?

Too often, people squander precious moments lamenting their hardship or the unfairness of their circumstances. But, does anyone of us really wish they were less human? And yet, we wallow in the ?language? of pigs. We deny our supreme greatness. We doubt our ability to prosper and flourish in the face of adversity. We are reduced to nothing more than human swine groveling at the teat of self-pity. How undignified!

Humans are one of the most perfect manifestations in the entire cosmos. There is nothing we can?t accomplish! But, alas, are those the conversations we create? Or do we have conversations about what we don?t have, or how bad our childhoods were, or how unfair life is? The irony is your conversations create your environment, and you are creating it everyday with your language.

What environment are you creating? When you promote conversations about everything that is wrong in your life, you infect your environment with the language of all the things you don?t like. When you speak of not having enough money, or hating your job, or being lonely, then your environment will organize itself around that language. You will find yourself surrounded by people and situations that support those conversations. Trust me, that is NOT what you want!

People around us think of us in terms of the language we use and the conversations we have. This works both ways. If your language is dominated by tales of all the losers who have taken advantage of you, then people around you may very well think you are sad, resigned, angry or sarcastic. Is that what you want? How will any of those people get to know the wonderful magnificent YOU that is buried beneath all of those complaints?

On the other hand, if your language is dominated by kindness, enthusiasm, support for other people, and passion for what you want, THAT is how people will come to think of you. Which do you prefer? Maybe you have been treated badly, or maybe you have been disappointed in relationships. Maybe you do have the right to be upset or skeptical. You just need to understand, if you exercise that right by elaborating on it to the people around you, there will be a cost in terms of how your environment thinks about you.

Despite whatever illusions we may have, happiness is NOT a birthright. Sorry, we?re not entitled to be happy. We are entitled to pursue happiness, to create it for ourselves, but nobody owes us a life of happiness. In our pursuit of happiness, we may find ourselves unhappy at times. Get over it. We each, individually, are responsible for whether or not happiness exists in our lives. With our conversations, we create the space for it to show up, or we create the walls that keep it from showing up. Either way, it?s our call.

The price of happiness is the conversations we are willing to create around us. Sure, it takes some work, but it?s worth it. On the other hand, you could take the easy way out and choose the language of pigs. But, then, you?ll just get slop. YUCK!

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Fred Tutwiler has worked with companies, individuals and athletic teams, including the 17 time NCAA Champion UNC Women’s Soccer Team and the WUSA League Champion Carolina Courage. Fred, The Reality Coach, challenges non-productive views of reality. He is the author of Your MEGAgiNormous Rules: The invisible rules you live by, why they keep you stuck, and what you can do about it. Download Fred’s F.REE e-book “Why DO We KEEP Doing The Same Thing Over And Over Even When We DON’T LIKE the Result We Get?” at www.megaginormousrules.com.